Finding Time for Rain
by Liminal Raz
Summary: So much was left behind, so much pain caused by a single event. She'd spent too much time trying to prevent the rain, but would eventually come to realize... Sometimes it just had to pour. [Ellone. Companion story to Dreams of Knight.]
1. The Apology

**Foreword:  
**Hi everyone! I hope that Dreams of Knight is going over well with most of you! And thank you so much to those who have reviewed what little I've posted so far! I'm glad to know that I'm at least doing _something_ right. Seriously, if even just one person enjoys what I've done here, then that's success enough for me.

Anyway, here's a very special treat. I present a side story, one that will progress alongside DoK and will be updated as that story progresses. But because I don't want to spoil too much, I'm not going to tell you what the whole deal with it is. (Although I'm sure you'll be able to catch on very quickly.) You should read Dreams of Knight if you want to get the most out of this, but as long as you keep an open mind it isn't really_ necessary._

All right then, I hope you enjoy it!

Oh yeah, and I don't own Final Fantasy VIII, everyone understand that? Yes? Good. ;)

* * *

**Finding Time for Rain  
by Liminal Raz**

**Part I - The Apology**

It turned out to be such a gorgeous day. What a turn around it was from earlier that morning. Dark saturated clouds had begun to roll in at dawn and it seemed as if a storm was imminent. Thankfully however, the radiant Balamb sun persisted and broke its way through the thick blanket of gray, clearing the skies completely.

Perhaps that was a sign.

She'd heard about the two students in the mountain trails, how they were nearly killed during training. It was a fortunate thing that one of them was still able to call it in. She was shocked when she heard the cadets here talking about it; some were acting as if it was the highlight event of the semester, while others were simply horrified by it. Despite that all of her knowledge surrounding the incident was mere gossip, the simple fact that accidents such as that even happened at all was a scary thought to her. She knew what this place was, who SeeDs were and what they did, but somehow, it never really hit her just how real all of it was. Not until she heard the names of the two cadets involved; Seifer Almasy, and Squall Leonhart. At that instant, it hit home and it hit hard.

A cool breeze swept passed her picking up the scent of her perfume, and carrying in its gentle grasp a few stray flower petals. She continued to sit on the mossy wooden bench at the edge of the courtyard, allowing the elements to tickle her senses for a little while longer. She just loved the crisp mountain air, and the fresh scent of spring. God, how she had missed that simple pleasure for so many years.

But that was not what had drawn her to this place. She wanted so desperately to right the wrongs in her past, and maybe even find the absolution she needed for her troubled heart and soul.

Would he remember her?

She remembered him, as a boy. He had such a handsome round face, his eyes always so deep and engaging, even though he was so young. It was an image she'd never forget. Although they'd been apart for so long, she had a feeling she'd be able to recognize him immediately if she were to cross his path today.

But what would she say to him? How could she even begin to explain? And how could she ever ask for his help, which she needed so badly? Maybe, just maybe, the act of seeking help itself would be the means of explaining the past. She could not do it with words, she already knew that, so perhaps she had to do it through actions.

She took a deep breath and held it in as she closed her eyes. Reluctant to leave the serenity of this small garden, she exhaled slowly and tried to lose herself. The sounds of birds excited her ears in that moment and another breeze whisked passed her, leaving goose bumps on her bare arms.

In that moment, she let her mind drift, taking her back in time to a place she held dear in her memories. Those memories of childhood brought both comfort and sorrow. There were so many holes, so many questions she needed answers for. And of course, there was the sacrifice she was forced to make. It was something for which she could never forgive herself, even if was not her decision to go. Even if she had absolutely no choice in the matter, it was still her fault. The hurt in their eyes, in _his_ eyes, it would haunt her forever since. She could have at least said good bye.

The sound of voices snapped her back into reality, dragging her consciousness into the present. She opened her eyes, but could see no one else in the courtyard with her other than the two men in white. But they were too far apart to be talking. No, the voices were coming from an open window behind her, and one of them, she just knew, belonged to _him._

A sudden surge of anxiety filled her nerves. She hadn't expected to see him so soon, but a part of her begged it, even if she was not ready for it. With their souls so close, she could not in good conscience let the opportunity pass her by.

Slowly rising to her feet, she turned toward the window and realized just where he was; the infirmary. So, he was all right then, thank goodness. She couldn't bear the thought of losing him, especially when there was so much left unhealed. She needed his help and his forgiveness, and he needed to know the reasons behind her actions back then, and he needed to know how much she cared; how dreadfully sorry she was.

There was so much they needed from each other.

But how could she face him?

It didn't matter. It wouldn't be easy, but it had to be done. Just start simple, there was no need to rush into this. Time was on her side.

The electronic door slid open at her presence and she immediately felt the warmth of the Garden air surround her. Those two men in white followed her inside, but aware of her intentions, they hung back as she proceeded into the hallway. They would allow her this time with him, they knew how important it was.

The silence was too much, and it made her every move audible, even the steadily increasing rate of her heartbeat.

He was so near, she could feel him now. How was she ever going to do this?

And there he was...

She stopped by a window, the frame taking up the full height of the wall in front of her. Behind the glass she could see him rushing out of bed. The sight was a humorous one, the way he threw the blanket off and cringed after touching the floor with his bare feet. What was his hurry?

His head was wrapped in white bandages, and his clothing replaced with a blue hospital gown. The poor guy, he must've been in a lot of pain as a result of his accident.

She could only stare at him. "My, he's certainly grown over the years," she thought to herself. She was amazed at how fit he was, but she didn't feel a _physical _attraction towards him. It was spiritual, and she knew with every fiber of her being that this young man was the little brother she'd left behind over a decade ago. He'd become a man, completely shattering the image she'd preserved of him as a child. But that was ok. She, too, had grown after all. But... would he recognize her?

She couldn't take it anymore, she had to make contact. She couldn't know what was going to happen, how he'd react, but it was worth all the risks. He had to know she was here. He had to know she was back. "Squall!" she shouted in a playful tone. Perhaps the lightness of such a mood would ensure a smooth encounter. God, did she hope so.

He turned and faced her, but there was little more than sheer confusion written in his expression.

She chuckled briefly at his behavior. "Where are you going like that!" Did he recognize her? Did he know who she was?

He only stared back at her, his expression turning into something not far removed from anger. No, he did not recognize her; that was now painfully clear. But, maybe that was best for the time being. Just start by saying hello. Just start small. She was doing fine.

Yes, time was on her side, she didn't need to rush him. She couldn't let herself hurt him again by forcing something he didn't want or wasn't yet ready for.

This was difficult, but necessary. "Well..." she said. "It's good to see you again." Too much time had passed between them, he didn't know her anymore. She had to understand that, and she had to be careful.

Raising a hand to her cheek as she felt herself begin to blush, she swallowed dry and wished to heaven that she could have undone all the wrongs with one simple apology. Using the same hand, she reached out to touch the glass wishing even more to just hold him. Maybe that alone would make the pain melt away. If only that were true. "I'm sorry," she said. Her eyes grew heavy with tears she held back. She had to leave before she went too far. "I hope you can forgive me."

She turned and walked away, never once receiving a reply from her estranged friend. She didn't blame him, she didn't even give him the chance to respond as she sacrificed that opportunity. It was better that way. There would be another time.

Wounds such as these... just took time.


	2. The Suffering

I wish I was talented enough to have come up with these characters myself. But no, those guys at Square-Enix did, and guess what? They own _Final Fantasy VIII_, and I do not.

* * *

**Finding Time for Rain**

**Part II - The Suffering**

Why didn't she just go to the party? It wasn't as if she weren't permitted, Cid had personally invited her. She may not have been a SeeD, but when the Headmaster of Garden invites you to a party you really shouldn't pass it up, regardless of the party's signification.

Anyway, she wanted to go, but she wasn't sure if she should.

Because he'd be there. Because she wasn't sure yet if she could face him.

Her tiny bed was blanketed with a thick green comforter and she felt a little too warm for her liking. She'd been given good accomodations for her stay, even offered a penthouse on the fourth level, but she inisted on something small. She wanted her presence here to go as unnoticed as possible and settled for a normal sized dorm. She really shouldn't even be here to begin with.

She'd spent the better half of her life on the move, living on the run. She was tired of it, but she knew how important it was to maintain her anonymity while here. That was another reason she couldn't just come out and tell him who she was. Too much was at stake, as the event that had seperated them was still unfolding to this day. A life of running and secrecy took its toll however. She needed some answers. She needed to fix it all.

Tossing and turning, unable to get any sleep despite the hour, she finally sat up and moved her legs over the edge of the bed. The dorm was dark, but a light was shining in through her window. The moon was out tonight, and its brilliant full face shone a bright white light that was filtered through her yellow curtains into a streak across the floor. She leaned over and reached for the light drapery, pulling one side of the curtains open to get a better view of the heavens.

The stars and the mountainscape were so majestic. The only time she'd ever seen the heavens so clear was while out at sea. That was one thing she liked about her life with those people; the nights could be so full of peace and tranquility on that ship.

What time was it? Almost midnight? She thought again about going to the party, but quickly dismissed it as she'd been doing for the past hour. She didn't own a dress; another reason not to go.

God, it'd been so long though. So long since she had a chance to really enjoy herself. She was almost afraid she'd forgotten how, and that was yet one more reason not to go to the party. Despite all of that however, the urging need to unwind was too powerful a force, and she found herself already on her feet looking for something to wear.

She wasn't going there to be the bell of the ball, there was no need to be too dressed up, right? Well, she hoped not, seeing as how she only had a few skirts to choose from. Finally settling on a black flared skirt which flowed down to her ankles, with a navy petite-sleeve bolero top, she dressed herself by the aid of a small desk lamp, not taking much time to apply make-up and accessories. As for footware, it was either black satin with two-inch heels, or sneakers. Hmm, now there's a difficult choice.

For some reason she found herself rushing to get them on, almost falling over in the process. Why was she in such a hurry all of a sudden? Did she really plan on seeing him? No, she was going for her own enjoyment, not to dwell in the past. "I won't be doing that tonight," she whispered to herself.

Still, she couldn't help but wonder... He had his SeeD exam today, or so she heard. How well did he do?

The man in white stopped her as she stepped out her door. "I see you've decided to go after all." He'd been patrolling the hallway, his partner somewhere out of sight at the moment.

"Yes," she replied to him softly. "I can't sleep, I thought I might as well get some much needed social interaction."

The man's face was anything but assuring. "I see. I won't stop you, but please... consider what it is you are doing."

"I have," she said confidently. Honestly though, she had no idea and was acting purely on impulse.

The man in white drew a deep breath and bowed to her silent request. "Very well then. Would you like some company? I mean, _real_ company?" He was going to join her no matter what, but he was offering to go undercover, so to speak.

She smiled at him with a single shake of her head. "Hm, an informal date? Thanks, but I'll be all right. However, if you must come up with me, please... umm..."

Now _he_ was smiling; he knew what she was trying to say. "I would never do anything to draw attention to you. I'll never be far away, but I promise... I won't _get_ in the way, either."

They shared a brief laugh before she started to walk off, eyes diverted to the floor. She wasn't sure what she was feeling right then. Relief, perhaps? Joy? Love even? Who knows... At least she was sure of this: She felt comfortable and safe when he was around. For now, that's all she really needed from him.

She stopped after she passed him, her back facing his. An inner voice was telling her to express whatever it was she was feeling. And so, she once again smiled before saying, "Thank you. For being patient. For understanding. For being... there when I need you." She turned around and met his gaze. Leaning forward, she planted a small kiss on his cheek and then finally headed off.

She could hear the music and chatter all the way down the hall from the ballroom. With each step that took her closer to the ornate wooden doors, she felt a pressure increase on her heart. Like a cage that was ever constricting, only growing tighter with each beat. So many emotions surged through her, from fear and anxiety, to immense joy and even sorrow. Pushing the large double doors open, it was both a relief and a dissapointment to know that no one here knew who she was, save for a _very_ select few. Her identity needed to be kept a secret, but Hyne.. what she would give just to be able to dance with someone... anyone _other_ than a stranger.

She'd taken a full three steps inside and already was thinking of leaving. Perhaps she shouldn't have come here in hopes of having a good time. That was impossible, she was completely alone. Even amongst so many people, even had she been with the man who'd offered to join her, she'd be all alone in her world.

But she wasn't going to allow that to get her down. She needed to be persistent in her pursuits; all of them. Especially in her pursuit of happiness. That was indeed the sum of her every intention, and it wasn't just for her, but for everyone she knew and loved.

Start small. Start simple. As always, time would be on her side.

She shook those burdening thoughts from her head and quickly focused on the scenery around her. The ballroom was larger than she expected and much more luxurious. She'd hoped that her simple outfit would help keep her in the background, but it now seemed like such a stark contrast to all the extravegant bright gowns in attendance. In all reality, she stuck out, even more than the caterers and waitresses.

With haste she made her way to the few tables in the back hoping to find a seat and perhaps get a glass of wine. Of course, the tables were full and the wine was not free. Lacking the finances to order a single glass, she simply swiped a glass of complementary champagne from a passing caterer and stood alone at the edge of the dance floor.

Everyone looked so happy; as if tonight, not a single worry was present in any of their minds. She knew the reality was, every SeeD member in attendance was almost certainly destined to die before their time. That fact was ever present in their thoughts, even if they chose to ignore it. She knew, because she could hear it when they spoke, she could see it in their eyes, and even feel it in their touch. Denial was something she was very familiar with, and she could detect it everywhere tonight. Her life spent with the men in white taught her much about human nature.

Something else positive about living with those people... she met someone she would come to hold very dear in her heart. They were all special in their own rights, and she thought of them all as family. It was a sad day when she realized their fates.

She took a sip of her champagne and crossed her left arm over her stomach. Why did she come here? It was so obvious that she couldn't clear her thoughts, no matter how desperate she was. She couldn't deny what she truly felt, what she truly wanted.

To see him.

No longer holding back her true reasons for coming up here, she began to scan the room, scrutinizing every face until she finally came upon his. It was like everything around her stopped moving when she saw his eyes; the music faded from her ears and her vision tunnled. Suddenly, she felt her heart pounding and finally broke the connection.

What she'd just witnessed... She should be happy for him. He was with someone, dancing happily; perhaps even in love. Yes, she was definitely overjoyed to see him having a good time, but a part of her wanted to see him alone tonight. Not because she wanted to be the one sharing his dance, ok, not _only_ because of that, but mainly because what she needed to tell him was too intimate for the ears of another. Alas, it seemed her hesitation to come here led to a second opportunity missed.

But... at least he was happy. That provided momentary solace to a large portion of her soul.

"Excuse me." She signaled to a caterer that she'd finished her drink and promptly placed the empty glass onto the tray full of others. "Thank you."

Staying to watch them dance would have torn her apart, even though it was the single most pleasant sight she'd seen in ages. The conflict of emotion proved to be too much right now, so instead of standing there alone, she left the room altogether, now standing on a balcony... alone.

At least the lack of people in her direct line of vision made the loneliness a little more bearable. Solitude in one's thoughts was far better than isolation amongst a crowd.

How many days did she have here? Was her stay indefinite? It didn't really matter, she'd find the time to tell him, but it just seemed that doing so in person would be the best way to go. Although, considering the way things were going, she wasn't sure if she'd ever find the _right_ time.

A cool breeze washed over her, sending her attention skyward. Those stars were perfect tonight. Staring into the vast ocean of space reminded her of just how frail and insignificant they all were. Stars; made of hydrogen and helium, they fuzed into heavier elements at the core then released it all in supernovae. Those heavier elements would go on to make planets and provide the matter necessary to create life. Every molecule in her body, every atom was forged in the heart of a star just like the ones she was observing now. And there she was, making the connection. She was, in that moment, the universe observing itself. And yet, she had an ability that defied the _laws_ of that universe. If she were to represent existence itself, then she'd also be the one to shatter it.

Life was but a dream, and she was neither the dreamer, nor the one being dreamed of. Rather, she was an anomaly. A hindrince in the mechanics of time and human consciousness. She was all too aware of how dangerous she was. And that's why she so desperately needed to fix things.

"Is everything all right?"

She turned to see her bodyguard approaching from behind. She hadn't expected him to join her out here, and given that he was still in uniform, he must only have done so out of great concern. She needed to assure him, so he wouldn't draw too much suspicion. Then again, who the hell was paying any attention anyway?

"Aeric..." she said softly. "I mean, yes, I'm all right." She tried to sound upbeat, but of course it didn't fool the man in front of her. "I just..."

He reached out and took her hand, raising it to his chest with a modest smile. Something in his eyes made her weak, and she found that all of her thoughts melded into one incoherent jumble. This man, Aeric, he'd been the only one in her life she'd ever felt truly comfortable around after leaving her previous life behind. He was always there, as he was now, and he could tell when she needed him without having to ask. For that, she was eternally grateful. But she was too unsure of herself. That was the only thing keeping her from saying the words.

"Maybe you should head back to your room. Get some sleep." Aeric turned his head to glance back into the ballroom for a moment. "I saw him."

She lifted her head at that statement, tears welling up inside. "Me... too..."

"He looks... well for himself. Not much of a dancer though..."

She chuckled as she reached to wipe a tear on her cheek. "No, I suppose not. Ha ha. But then again, neither are you." She stared into his eyes, a big smile contrasting her tired, heavy eyes.

"Oh yeah? Guess it's a good thing I didn't change then, cuz I'd be dragging you out there right now to prove you wrong!" He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer, twirling around for a moment under the stars. Their bodies were pressed tightly against one another, and the contact was a welcome relief of tension.

She felt so warm, so safe and secure with him. She found herself staring into his white uniform, his warm breath tickling her forehead. For a moment, neither of them spoke; both just absorbing their time together.

Time. A concept she understood better than anyone, and it was something she vowed to harness. Then, moments like these could last a lifetime. She needed this peace. But she didn't yet deserve it. They had to come first; the people in her past.

Sensing her desire to break away, Aeric released his embrace. "What's wrong?"

"I, uh... I'm sorry. I need to be alone." She gently pushed herself away and started back for the ballroom. What was she doing? She had to tell him what she felt. Realizing what she'd just done, she spun around,but... he was already gone. She stared at an empty balcony, her bodyguard absorbed into the night. That's what he did best; watch from the shadows, making sure she was safe. But it wasn't other people she needed safety from right now. It was her own demons, the guilt and the regret that was eating her alive.

Because it was her own fault, wasn't it? She'd been the first to break away. She was always the one who left, without explanations, and without goodbyes.

She left the party and traversed the halls for a while, not really wanting to return to her room. She was certain that Aeric was following her around, but was partly grateful that she could not see him. The guilt she felt for always pushing him away was too much, and she just couldn't face him right now. There was so much on her mind.

The sound of boots hitting a tile floor began to echo from behind her, and she suddenly felt a tension she could not describe. It was him, she knew it. Unable to deal with Aeric meant she was especially unable to deal with her long lost little brother, so she quickly darted around a corner and pressed herself flat against the wall, the leaves of some green plant sticking her in the face. The sound drew nearer and nearer, and she realized she'd stopped breathing. His shadow emerged directly in front of her, and she closed her eyes. As if that was going to stop him from seeing her.

However, as she waited for the inevitable, she soon noticed the sound had become distant as he proceeded into another hallway. Relieved, she pushed herself forward and cautiously checked the main hall to be sure. There was no longer any sign of him.

"How ridiculous," she thought to herself with a slap to the forehead. "It probably wasn't even him..." But she knew better. She'd been inside his mind before, she could never forget a soul such as his. It was Squall.

Thinking about the footsteps, she realized he was by himself. Perhaps his date was still at the party? What if they weren't even a couple? Either way, it meant he was alone now. Summoning the courage, she found the conviction she'd been lacking a moment ago. It was too important. Regardless of her apprehension, she needed to find him and finally put all of this to rest. She was afraid, absolutely she was, and she had no guarantees, but... For the love of God, it had to be done and there was rarely a better opportunity than this. She couldn't let a third pass her by.

She went after him.

Unfortunately, she didn't know where he went. Spending precious minutes wandering around empty hallways, she felt as though she were wasting time. It was an idea she'd normally laugh at, but in reality, it was Squall's time that was slipping away, not her own. She had to find him before _he_ slipped away, yet again. But where did he go?

It was a stroke of luck and nothing more that she spotted him from the elevator. He changed his clothing and was carrying his weapon with him. Obviously, he was heading for Garden's training center. She needed to hurry.

Try as she might, her legs could not carry her fast enough. He'd already gone inside and there was no sight of him. Now she was faced with a difficult decision. She could wait for him to return, but he'd probably be tired and unwilling to accept her words. Or she could walk away, and wait for another time to come. But there was no guarantee there would be another time to see him in person. Her only option then, go in there and find him, and hope he wasn't in the middle of a battle when she did.

If she was careful enough, she could avoid the monsters, right? If she moved slow enough? "Only one way to find out. I have to do this..."

The training center was like a jungle. The air was thick and humid, and there were all sorts of strange noises she couldn't identify. She couldn't even tell if they were real or not, but assumed they were. Better to assume the worst than be caught unprepared, right? Not as if she could actually consider herself prepared for anything in here.

A few minutes passed without incident. The noises continued to distract her but she maintained her calm and moved with great care not to disturb anything. Just by looking at them, she gathered that even the plants here were hostile. Hyne, what was she thinking? Surely, she couldn't fix anything if she were dead. This whole idea began to seem rather insane, and she felt herself growing with concern. She needed to get out of there, the risk was too great.

Turning around, she was perplexed to find the path she'd walked in on was no longer there. It seemed as if the plantlife had rearranged itself. Completely dissoriented, she began to panic; the beginning of the end for most people in her situation. She fought every urge to scream, and tried desperately to remain calm. There had to be a way out of there, she just had to keep walking and stay calm.

Some rustling sounds circled around her in the brush, but she couldn't seem to get a fix on what was causing it. The humidity was getting to her and all the inexplicable noises tugged at her sanity. She simply couldn't take it anymore, and ran. She ran as fast as she could, incurring small tears in her blouse and skirt, and even cutting her legs on thorny branches. But she kept going, she kept running.

Then something hit her from behind, knocking her to the ground amidst fallen tree branches and dead leaves. Insects were swarming at her hands and arms, and she screamed with fright as she tried to flick them off. Hyne, they were everywhere! Why hadn't she noticed them before!

Another swift blow to her back sent her face first into the dirt, where she rolled over in a mild daze, a painful sting lingering between her shoulder blades. What she saw hovering above her terrified her beyond her worst nightmare. She couldn't form any words, her mind shut down and a more primal function took over. She screamed like she'd never done before.

The attack was imminent. She saw its tail and stinger curl up behind its back in preparation for a strike, and closed her eyes in horror. What was she thinking, coming in here? How was she ever going to make things right with him if she were to die tonight? She couldn't even say goodbye to him... She couldn't even say goodbye to Aeric...

But the strike never came. Instead, she heard someone shouting at her to stay down and keep her eyes closed. She obeyed, never registering the voice within her mind. The sounds of a struggle ensued and she even covered her ears to avoid any knowledge of what was transpiring. She felt it would be better not to watch.

Even after the sounds stopped, she remained there, on the ground with her eyes closed and ears covered. It wasn't until she felt a hand tug at her bicep before she left the safety of the darkness. It was him... Aeric. The other bodyguard was there as well. Did they...?

She turned her head, and then realized that it was not her escorts who'd saved her... It was Squall. He was staring right at her, and all she could manage was a look of shock. Beside him was another familiar face, one she also could never forget. "Quisty...?" she uttered quietly.

"Are you all right?" Aeric asked her in a persistent tone.

She looked him in the eyes and nodded with a faint smile. Although her head began to feel as though all the blood was rushing out.

"You've been stung... We need to get you to the infirmary."

She nodded again with slight dizziness, but as she leaned on him for physical support, the emotional support came from knowing that Squall and Quistis had both come to her rescue. She stared into her brother's eyes for a brief moment, before surrendering to Aeric's aid.

What a fool. How stupid and wreckless she was. What good did she accomplish by going in there? Did she really expect to make it through unscathed? And now her third opportunity had been lost. It was her fault. She shouldn't have been so indesicive. If only... she could be strong. She may have had all the time in the world, but they did not. It wasn't she who would end up suffering the most, it was them.

Just like before, she was solely to blame. Forgiveness, it seemed... would now have to take a back seat to her other needs.


	3. The Choice

_Final Fantasy VIII_ is one of my favorite video games of all time. Sadly for me, though I do own two copies of the game, its title and characters belong to Square-Enix.

* * *

**Finding Time for Rain**

**Part III - The Choice**

Her eyes slowly opened and were greeted with the gentle light of morning. It seemed dimmer than usual, more gray than she would have liked, but not even she could control the weather. The smell of the pillow and the surrounding air was vaguely familiar, but not at all unpleasant. It didn't smell like a hospital, but rather more like a normal bedroom. Right now, she felt so calm and at peace, especially knowing that he'd been in this same bed just twenty-four hours prior. It was indirect contact; a silly notion, but everybody had their moments like this.

As comfortable as she felt in Aeric's arms, it was Squall's arms that held the most. Even though it'd been a lifetime since she last felt his touch, she could never forget it. The two of them used to be inseparable, just like brothers and sisters should be at that age. They shared everything back then, including each other's pain. Though children, theirs was a love that went deeper than any adults'; mutually unconditional. Sadly, as age sets in, most people forget what that kind of love is like.

She could never.

The room appeared to be empty, but she knew that Aeric couldn't have been far. He was most likely right outside her door, standing vigilant should any harm head her way. The thought brought a smile to her tired face and she began to stretch, now more awake and feeling so much better than the night before.

The doctor had given her something to counter the poison, but as a side effect, it knocked her out pretty fast. She slept so soundly through the night, any dreams she had were no longer present in her memory. And she awoke so gently, it was as if she'd never woken up at all.

But this wasn't a dream.

For a moment, she replayed yesterday's first encounter in her mind. It was the first time she'd seen him in so very long. He was in this room, and she was in the hallway outside. Of course, if she were to turn and look right now, he'd not be there as she was. Still, she rolled over with wide eyes and an even wider smile.

And the hall was vacant.

With a long sigh, she removed the blanket from her body and sat up at the edge of her bed. Her clothing had been changed, but she was not wearing the hospital gown like Squall was. She'd changed herself last night into a gown of her own. The only reason she was still in the infirmary was due to the doctor's insistence; she wanted to keep her under observation for the night. As it turned out, the poison she received was a particularly nasty one and without the proper treatment, she could have died.

Yeah... She was stupid for doing what she did. Then again... Could following one's heart ever truly be considered a stupid thing to do?

Her bare feet hardly made contact with the floor before she sprung them back onto the bed. It was just too cold, and she wasn't _that_ awake yet.

As she looked over her surroundings, a small yawn escaped her. She spotted a clock on the wall which told her the hour was 7:05. So it was still quite early then. For some reason, she felt relieved, as if that might give her a chance. But she already knew... She could sense it... Squall was leaving.

Now her mind was quickly assessing what options she had left, and they were paths she'd tried desperately to avoid. However, it couldn't be helped at this point, she had to do it. Before she could make contact however, she would have to know exactly where he was, and who he was with. It could be very dangerous if she connected with him at a bad time.

For her, the time to face her demons had come. But first... She needed to face the bone-chilling tile floor so she could get dressed. It was probably not the most difficult task ahead of her, but a dreaded one nonetheless.

Aeric could hear her moving around and crooked his head towards the door. "Are you awake?"

"Give me a minute, I'll be right out," she replied through the door.

Aeric stood tall and waited patiently as she dressed herself in the other room. He already knew what was on her agenda for today, and he was determined to be there in support. His only wish, if he could ever be granted such a thing, was for her to fully realize what her goals actually were. He feared it was all going to end in heartache, and possibly worse. But it wasn't his place to tell her this, she'd already embarked on her journey; one that only she could take, and one that only she could finish. Either by reaching the end, or by realizing there is no end, it was for her to discover, not him. He could only offer his support, and be there when she needed him.

And in the end, whatever that end may be, he would still be there.

"Good morning!" she said cheerfully as the door slid open. Draped over her arm was the gown she'd slept in.

He nodded to her with a small smile. "How are you feeling?"

She turned her attention to herself, checking her arms and legs, making sure there were no surprises she'd yet to discover. "Well... Considering I still have all my limbs and can still walk, I guess I'm feeling pretty darn good."

Her cheerfulness almost seemed without context, but Aeric knew it was an attempt to hide the dread she was feeling. And in support, he would allow her to indulge in whatever peace she could find, for it wouldn't be long before it all disappeared completely. "You're the luckiest person I know."

"Luck?" she reiterated quickly. "Most of my luck is actually just you, always there to protect me."

He smiled and looked away. "If I'm your luck, then I must have failed you last night. It wasn't me who protected you."

"I know," she said softly with a nod. "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."

He looked her in the eyes again and took her hand. "I'm the one who is sorry. I was too late."

But Squall saved her... Yet, he didn't recognize her at all, and if he did, he never said anything. Perhaps he just couldn't forgive her after all.

Aeric sensed her change of mood as her thoughts induced a silent stare at their interlocking hands. He released her's, and that seemed to bring her out of it. "Well. The doctor stepped in, but had to leave again for a class lecture. But she told me you've been given a clean bill of health. Are you hungry?"

She nodded with a large grin. "Yes."

The two of them headed off to the cafeteria, arms entwined all the way there. Dressed in his usual white uniform, Aeric was of course drawing attention to them both, but for the time being he felt it was a necessary risk. Besides that, the odds that anyone here had any hint of their identities was well in their favor. They looked like visitors to most people, and it generally ended there.

After passing through the kitchen and ordering breakfast, they sat at a table close to the edge of the eating area. It was nice and quiet at this hour, most students were getting ready for class, and that left most of the cafe empty. Actual breakfast hour started after nine for the cadets. It was quiet enough that they hardly needed to speak above a whisper. It almost made them feel vulnerable.

"So..." she began, avoiding direct eye contact. A playful grin streaked across her face as she stuck her fork into a side dish of soft apple-crisp pastry. "I've made a decision."

Aeric didn't have to ask. "Are you sure that this is what you want?"

"It is. I have to know. There are so many questions. And above all, I need him to... choose a different path." She looked up at Aeric, all traces of her earlier grin gone, replaced by a sorrowful expression.

He thought she was referring to Squall, but could she possibly be referring to someone else? Why hadn't she ever mentioned this to him before? She always kept the darkest parts of her past a secret, only revealing bits and pieces that were impossible to put together.

He knew she wanted to change it all, but the true extent of her wish to do so was unknown to him. In fact, it wasn't even clear to him what exact aspects she wanted to change. It didn't matter though, he knew it couldn't happen the way she wanted it to. He just couldn't tell her this directly. She wouldn't even listen if he did.

"Aeric... I'm sorry for always keeping you in the dark about my feelings. Please, just don't ever think that I..."

He hushed her silent. "Shh. When you're ready, I'll be here to listen."

"Thank you. So much."

The podium clock in the center of the eating area was minutes from striking 7:30. Looking up at the skylights above them, she noticed that the sunshine had diminished considerably. It was beginning to rain, and would probably continue all day long. It was mocking her, for it was also raining in her memories. That day, the storm... Since then, the rain never truly stopped. And today, when she'd finally decided to make contact, reality just _had_ to parallel her feelings.

She went to take another bite of her breakfast, her thoughts quickly spiraling towards a dark center she wasn't quite ready to explore. Despite all her words and conviction, she was wishing as hard as she could to find another way. If there was any, however, they were never found.

"I don't want you doing this," Aeric finally said, trying to stop her from brooding as she was. He didn't want her to suffer like this, but sometimes it was necessary to uncover certain truths. So when he didn't get a reply, he prodded her further. "I know you wish there was another way out, and I could sit here all day telling you that you don't have to do this. But we both know that you do... Even if it's for reasons that neither of us yet understand. I can't stop you, but I just don't believe that you're actually ready. So please... I know it's painful for you, but give it a little more time. I don't want to see you get hurt anymore."

She looked up at him, her expression somewhere between confusion and sadness. As she opened her mouth to speak, she was interrupted by the speakers above them.

A man's voice began to shout on the intercom after a short burst of static. "...need reinforcements! He's broken out of his cell and taken an instructor hostage! I repeat, we need..." the announcement was cut short by the sounds of a struggle and more shouting. Then it went silent again.

Looking around, she and Aeric noticed a couple faculty members and instructors get up and rush towards the hall. "What was that?"

Aeric shook his head. He didn't like the sound of this at all. "I think there's trouble in the detention center. It really doesn't concern us."

She nodded and returned her gaze back to their table. It took a minute for her to gather her thoughts back, but another announcement was made, yet again disturbing their moment here.

"Headmaster Cid! Report to the Detention Center immediately! All SeeD personnel, backup assistance required, he just took out five of our staff!" The voice of a woman this time, young sounding. It was familiar. "Dr. Kadowaki, you and your staff is needed urgently!"

She looked up at the ceiling. "Do you think maybe we should...?" She didn't really know what she was getting at. Did she want to leave and go to her dorm? It wasn't that she didn't feel safe, but somehow... it just seemed that everything was getting in her way now.

Aeric was thinking along similar lines. "I'll take you back to your room." He thought for a moment about checking out the disturbance, but this was not their affair, and it was best that he and the others with him didn't get involved.

They rose to their feet and the two of them began walking side by side.

"If things get too serious, we may need to remove you from this place completely," Aeric told her.

Hearing that sent a wave of anger through her. She was already in a dark place mentally, his comment only pushed her deeper inside. She couldn't leave here, no matter how dangerous things got. She wasn't finished. She hadn't even started. She needed to be here, for when he returned. She'd wait for his return, for as long as it took. "I'm not going back to that ship without _at least_ attempting this!" She broke away from him, and the sudden change in mood surprised him. "I've been putting this off for too long, but the truth is... it can't be avoided any longer. I need to make contact with him. I need to see the past, I need _him _to see the past!"

Aeric stood in shock. He couldn't allow her to jeopardize her future over this. A lot was at stake, more than she or he could even comprehend. "Wait!" He shouted, but something stopped him in his tracks. "Ah! What... are you..." He suddenly felt a pain in the back of his scull, something he'd experienced once before. He knew what she was doing, and at this point, he was powerless to do anything about it. "Wait... Where... are you sending me?"

She stopped walking and turned around, her eyes locked with his. She didn't appear to be angry, only hurt. "I need to know where he is, who he's with. I'm sorry, but the longer I wait, the worse it becomes. I know how much you worry about me getting hurt by this, but please... Trust me." Her voice softened as tears filled her eyes. "I need this... more than you could possibly understand."

Aeric felt his body hit the floor, and the last thing he saw was her faint figure rushing to his side. When the darkness subsided, he found himself peering through the eyes of another. At first, he was completely disoriented, but then the scenery became recognizable. It was the Garden entrance, not even a full hour ago; the sun was starting to rise, but clouds were already threatening to snuff out its rays.

As the person he was inside turned their head, several people came into view. There was a young woman, a young man with blonde hair, and Headmaster Cid along with a staff member.

Now he understood what she was doing. She wanted to see who Squall was with on his mission today, that way she wouldn't have to worry as much when she made the connection with him.

So now she knew.

"Well then, Squall, you're the Squad Leader. Use your best judgement given the circumstances you are faced with. Whatever the situation, keeping a cool head can mean the difference between success and failure, and... Well, you know what I'm getting at." The Headmaster spoke to him, then began to address the other two young SeeDs beside him. "Zell and Selphie, you two must support Squall and give your best efforts to carry out the faction's plans. Timber can be a hostile place with all the soldiers that are running around over there. Watch each others' backs."

A wash of white, and he was back inside the cafeteria, his head cradled in her arms and lap. He said nothing as her face came into view. Looking passed, he saw the rain through the skylights and confirmed to himself that he was actually sent back in time. He felt violated, and knew that Squall would feel the same way. There was nothing he could tell her however that would change her mind. So he only stared her in the eyes with a look of surrender and slight dismay in his. He finally spoke his only concern. "Be mindful of what you're looking for... You might find something you didn't expect. And it's what you least expect that can have the most severe consequences."

She smiled at him as a single tear fell from her cheek onto his. "Thank you," she whispered softly to him.


End file.
